Issues: Barack excelled on the economy, and expectations/vision for the future. He held his own on foreign relations. I’d have to say Barack won on the issues.
Suit: I give the edge to Barack. His suit was twice as shiny as McCain’s.
Sarcasm/Contemptuousness: McCain gets the edge here – big time.
Skin Tone: Obama came out lookin all golden-bronze and shit. McCain was his usual pasty white self. Gotta give it to Obama.
Hair: Again, Barack was strong in this category. By the way his hair laid I could tell that he was rockin’ a doo-rag back stage. Looked like he coulda used a fresh line, but other than that he looked good. McCain’s hair was… Barack wins.
Eye Blinks: Both candidates blinked alot. But there was somethin a little too twitchy and crack-headish about the way McCain blinked. Obama blinked cooler/slower – like a pimp-wink-blink. Slight edge to Barack here.
Pronunciation of Foreign Words/Names/Countries: This is a key indicator of foreign policy experience, so I’m a bit surprised that McCain had such a hard time with Ahmadinejad and Perestroika. Obama gets the nod here.
Rattled Off the Most Foreign Words/Names/Countries: It’s a draw. But again, considering McCain’s foreign policy experience, I was sure he’d blow away Obama here. He didn’t. So, a tie in this category is actually a win for Obama. The “O” gets another one.
Voice: McCain does something weird with his “S’s”. The shit is annoying. Barack wins on voice.
Lips: McCain has no lips. Barack’s lips look all extra-purple like he be smokin’ hella weed. This is a toss up.
Capacity to Mis-Characterize: McSame McCain.
Capacity for Truth and Accuracy: This one goes to Barack “The Truf(Truth)” Obama.
Eye Contact with the Opponent: I don’t think Grandpa Simpson looked at Barack once during the entire debate. That’s a tell-tell sign of weakness. McCain lost his street-cred with that punk move. Another one for Barack.
Those are my unbiased/objective professional observations. You can decide for yourself who won Obama/McCain 1.
