input needed (black ppl only): black info for curious white people…

Obama, Holder, Steele, Tomlin, Will.I.am…Niggas is the new Black.

All caught up in the moment, many of my once moderate recently turned “toe in the water” liberal White colleagues and acquaintances have gone all Louis and Clark on me.

Part genuine curiosity and part fear of a black planet, they are readily and intensely probing all things Black.

I feel you, “here we go again”.  I dig it.  Our distant and recent social history dictates that these types of social and cultural excursions typically go askew e.g. Black face, Vanilla Ice, White folks in afro/dread-lock wigs, “whiggers”, Ghetto Life 101, CNN’s Black In America etc…

Regardless of our feelings about the matter, it’s happening.  And w/o our input.  So fuck it.  I’m feeling culturally generous.  And I see this occassion as an opportunity to begin a new and improved cultural exchange. 

That said, I’m gonna help these mofos out by acting as something akin to a visitors information center.  So, White folks, if you want your passports stamped I suggest you take heed…

Anyhoot, Brothas and Sistas I need your help.

Let’s start here:

1. What are 5 Black movies that White people MUST see (Roots, The Color Purple, Boys in the Hood – don’t count)?
2. Who are 5 Black authors/intellectuals that White people MUST read/listen to (Tavis Smily, Cornel West, Tom Joyner, Black athletes/entertainers, Al Sharpton, M. E. Dyson are not acceptable answers)?

My “Recession 08″ Survival Tips…

My name is not Hank Paulson nor am I an economist.  Nonetheless, I feel quite comfortable and confident (damn near cocky) in asserting that our economy is F’d up.  And the so called experts are still scrambling to figure things out.  I think.

Yeah, I know the DOW surged on Monday.  My reaction, “That’s cute”.  However, it doesn’t signal that we are out of the woods.  Quite the contrary.  It’s the credit crisis and the slowing global economy, not the DOW, that we should focus our fleeting attention on.  And the unsettling fact of the matter is that we have yet to suffer the real fall out of this incipient economic crisis.  In plain speak, it is going to get worse before it gets better.  Again, I’m no expert.  I’m no doom & gloomer.  But I can see the writing on the wall.  As far as I can detect, the tell-tell signs of a failing economy are ubiquitous.  Allow me to share a personal example that illustrates my point.  Over the last month, I’ve observed increasing numbers of  well-to-do White Hyde Parkers shun the over-priced Treasure Island Supermarket for the very cornerstoreesque Village Foods.  I don’t know about you, but when upper-middle class White folks start braving certi-saver products, the stench of decaying flesh (fresh meat section), lotto lines out the door, and wine-heads paying for a 5th with loose change, it’s time for a brotha to adjust accordingly.  That said, below is an abbreviated list of the belt-tightening measures that I’m taking to weather our Country’s financial downturn.

Hair Cuts:  I’m cut my own hair.  You can do the same.  Go to Wal-Mart and cop a Wahl or Oster Home Hair Care Kit.  I prefer Oster, the design of the blades seems better suited for Black hair.  The key to success w/ do-it-yourself hair cuts is to resist the urge to try anything fancy.   Trust me, I’ve seen many a hairline disappear – forever – because someone got a little too overconfident in their home hair care abilities.  Keep it simple.  This is more about function than style.  The point is to keep up a well groomed appearance.  If absolutely necessary, every now and then, you can visit your Barber/Stylist for a professional lining.  My barber (Ishat Hyde Park Hair Salon) doesn’t really charge me for this service, but I’ll usually hit him off with a budget-sensitive tip of $2-$3.

Costco:  This is pretty self-explanatory.  I buy in bulk.  And this may take away from my street cred, but I create and use a grocery list.  I strongly encourage you to do the same.  Freestyle impulse shopping ain’t the best look right now.  I’m a devotee of Costco.  From my experience Costco has the best bulk variety to choose from.  As an added come-up, If you go at the right time, you can make a substantial meal by grazing at the numerous food sampling stations set up in damn near every aisle of the store.

Food/Cooking:  Lately I’ve been stocking up on more starches than usual.  I’m trying my best to stick with the complex starches/carbs: whole grain breads and pastas; yams or yellow potatoes instead of white potatoes; brown rice instead of white.  I always have plenty of health/protein bars stashed away as well.  A note of caution, please resist the urge to stock up on processed or pre-packaged foods.  Too much sodium.  I don’t want Black folks to emerge from this special period with high(er) blood pressure and diabetes.  In terms of cooking, on Sunday afternoons or early evening while watching football,  I try to prepare a gigantic meal or two that’ll carry me through the week e.g. chili, lasagna, soups, stews, etc.  An additional benefit of soup/stew style meals is that they allow you to dump in a variety of nutrient rich ingredients from each of the key food groups, especially veggies.

Cable:  I downgraded to basic cable.  I can’t completely get rid of it yet.  I’m addicted to the Discovery Channel.  Straight up Edutainment like BDP.

At Work “The Surge”:  Businesses are going under left and right.  Downsizing is in the air.  Now is the time for your best work ever.  Pour that shit on.  Finish any outstanding projects.  Call in favors from clients/vendors.  Have them send in messages about how valuable you are to them.  Over communicate.  Master the art of memos.  And – I know this is gonna be hard for brothas – but get over your aversion to attention to detail.  Trust me. The corporate cleanersare coming and they are looking for anything – no matter how small/trivial – that can be used to justify your dismissal.  Also, try to aggressively position yourself for a key role on an uber-important company project.  Stay close to the office-stars.  Stay away from office-losers, the trouble makers.  And work on your personality.

Phones:  I don’t have a home phone.  Between the celly and gmail all my communication needs are covered.  With the cell phone, so as not exceed my service plan, I try not to talk w/ my peeps until after 9 pm or on the weekends.  9 times out of 10 we just shooting the shit anyway.  And as far as texting goes, I set up a one word texting limit.  I know that it may seem difficult to effectively communicate with just one word, but from my experience, if it’s a close friend or family member, you can damn near communicate with each other telepathically.  If one word texting or telepathy is too difficult for you, you can eliminate most communication barriers by creating a glossary of text terms and symbols to be shared with your squad via email.  Lastly, get rid of any unnecessary features.

Fitness:  My gym allowed me to downgrade my membership.  You might also be able to put your membership on hold.  The other option is to cancel.  If you do cancel: 15 push ups, 20 sit ups, 30 air squats, and 15 squat thrusts.  Do as many sets as you can in 20 minutes, 4-5 times per week.  For more home work out ideas check out www.crossfit.com.  Fellas, you probably won’t gain any muscle size with  this, but it will help to burn of all the extra carbs you’ll be consuming.  It will keep you lean.  For variety, pull out and dust off those old ass Tae-Bo DVD’s ya’ll been holding onto.  And chill with the treats!

Treat your S.O. Right:  Go overboard, not monetarily/materially, but emotionally.  Now is the time to cuddle, and cuddle some more.  This ain’t the time to be arguing over bullshit.  And players – now is definitely not the time to be trickin’ off.  We are in a recession.  Tis the season of monogamy.  Emotionally, mentally, and financially, it’s what makes the most sense at the moment.  So love the one – the “1″ - you’re with.  Ya’ll gonna need each other to get through this mess.

The “Get Up”:  This is a series of monthly house parties (remember those) that I’m organizing with my closest friends.  You gotta – “Get Up” – with yo’ peeps when times are hard.  You need them.  They need you.  You need each other.  Good people, good music, and good laughs will help to keep the blues at bay.  To pull it off, all you need is food (potluck), drink, a DJ or Itunes/IPOD, some descent speakers, and a crib – preferably one with a basement that can comfortably accommodate up to 25 people.

The bottom line is to be smart – be prepared.  And if things turn for the better sooner rather than later, you’ll have some money saved up.  If not, you’ll be well equipped to calmly navigate the treacherous  economic road ahead. 

Stay Well;

kd

Video: War (Insert Patriotism) What is It Good For – Edwin Starr

Stirred up by the hate and fear-mongering of the McPalin ticket, good ol’ American patriotism has been on full display as of late.  The below video/song best captures my reaction to the ugliness that I’ve witnessed.   As you listen, every time you hear brotha Edwin shout, “War!”, insert the word “Patriotism” in its place.

 

more about “Video: War (Insert Patriotism) What …“, posted with vodpod

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WARNINGS: these posts deserve another looksy…

Warning #1:  “If Barack Becomes President…”

 

Warning #2:  “Things we should do…”

“…one of them coon dogs…” An Act of Racism? Real or Imagined?

Sunday afternoon at the pet store w/ my 2 boys.  We’re checking out the kittens and pups.  A handsome and frisky doberman pup catches our eye.  We post up for a few minutes in front of the pooch’s cage.  A couple of minutes fly by.  Another family approaches.  Moms, pops, junior, and grandpa.  They have a real rust-belt ethos about ‘em.  They peer over our shoulders at the same pooch we’re looking at.  Junior expresses an keen interest in the pup.  They continue to move in – encroach.  Pretty damn close to invading our personal space.  I have to defend the perimeter.  I turn and give them a quick and subtle don’t-get-no-closer glance complete with a half-smile.  Message received.  They stop and continue to observe from an acceptable distance.  Another minute or two goes by.  We’re still excitedly engaged with the pup.  Tired of waiting, pops verbally signals for his rustic squad to go browse the other animals in the store.  As they turn to walk away I hear grandpa say, in a voice much louder than what was appropriate for the setting, “I’d rather get me one of them COON dogs anyway”.  I’m immediately thinking to myself, “WTF!  COON dog?  Who says COON DOG!?”  I turn and instantly lock eyes with grandpa.  This mofo flashes me a quick smile and offers up a sinister, “Have a nice day.”

OK.  To me, this a is a clear-cut case of racism/bigotry.  However, I could be making this shit up in my head.  Maybe grand pa simply decided to make known - at that precise moment in time – his longing and preference for a got-damn coon dog.  I seriously doubt it.  What do you think?  Is this an act of racism or am I imagining things?

kdizo

Racism: Black Man in Elevator (Official Video)

This video has been making the rounds as of late.  Give it a good look and share your reactions with me. How does it sit with you? Any issues come up?  Like the word – uhmmm – bitch!  I’m very very interested in getting your take on this. You don’t have to offer up a dissertation or anything.  All responses/reactions are welcome.  Pretend like we’re sittin’ around the kitchen table talkin’ shit…

 

more about “Racism: Black Man in Elevator (Offic…“, posted with vodpod

 

 

everyday life: 5:30 a.m. on the green line (chicago)

5:30 a.m.  About to hop the Green Line “EL” @ MLK Drive ( A word of caution, if you think that you might at all look like a vic/mark, I wouldn’t advise that you do this).  The train comes and I board. The car is empty except for one dude (let’s call him, ol’ boy). He’s a hype. I ain’t trippin’ though. I knew that @ 5:30 a.m. I was about to board the hype express.  So, I cop a seat on the same side of the car as as ol’ boy, but 4 rows back.  It’s early, I’m tired. I need to close my eyes for a minute (again i wouldn’t advise anyone to do this).  I look around – survey the area to make sure things are cool.  Coast is clear.  I drop my bag to the floor, put my leg through the shoulder strap to prevent a snatch and grab, and close my eyes.  I’m trying to doze, and then I start to hear what sounds like water - alot of water hitting the floor of the car.  I sit up – open my eyes – look around to see where what I assumed to be a leak might be coming from.   It stops.  Nothin’ on the floor.   Just me and – ol’ boy.  Coast is clear.  I shut my big browns.  Soon as I close my eyes the water starts again.  As I’m sittn’ up to investigate – my legs/feet shift, and I hear a splashing sound.   Mildly startled and severely puzzled, I look down to find what I think to be water/beer on the ground, and on my bag (cold-ass leather Kenneth Cole briefcase).  And — it’s coming from where – ol’ boy - is sitting.  I yell out, “yo - WTF is you doin!?!”  He jumps up, his back to me, mumblin’ and fumblin’, actin’ all perplexed and shit.  And then he starts talkin’/slurin’ about, “Damn man, what’s goin’ on?  What’s that shit on the ground?!?”  He keeps on mumblin and fumblin – lookin all around…  And then he turns in my direction and slowly staggers toward me before the train turns causing him to fall into a nearby seat.   He’s keeps goin on and on and on…  Now by that time I’ve already figured out that – ol’ boy - done pissed on the ground, and on my bag.  How did I solve the mystery?  Well, when he turned and started in my direction — his joint was hangin’ out.  Still drippn’ with pee pee…

…to be clear: saggy-pants infographic

Courtesy of the Flint, MI Police Department.   This is hilarious, and sad.  Read my take on the issue (here)

Hells naw I ain’t goin to see that new Tyler Perry flick!!!

I am no Tyler Perry fan.  His movies, his storylines, his choice of actors, his plots (or lack there of), his cross-dressing, his flat-underdeveloped characters, his over-simplification of black male/female relationships, his rather uninspired and pedestrian cinematography…  All this shit is wack.  It does nothing for me.

That said, I don’t have a problem with Mr. Perry per say.  I’m not going to demonize him.  That wouldn’t be fair, or constructive.  On the low, there is a place for this brand of entertainment and I actually believe that he is doing the best that he can do - with what he knows.  And therein lies the crux of the problem.  The above criticisms, are not so much an indictment of Tyler Perry as much as they are an indictment of where we are (are not) culturally/socially as a people.

I believe with all my heart, that if we: 1) where more culturally stimulated and demanding; 2) created better product/content, 3) had real access to or control of the media, the Tyler Perry films (and most of commercial hip-hop and R & B) would not over-occupy as much of our cultural space as they do today.

Tyler P. is a man of his time.  The same is true of his audience.  We are at a cultural low point – a modern day nadir period. Most of our cultural products ooze that dark reality.  Look, I know that more than a few of you might think I’m being hard on ol’ boy.  You want me to acknowledge and give credit to Mr. Perry because his films ain’t “negative” – because his characters are more “positive”.  Hey, given the cultural garbage that we consume on a daily basis, I can understand and even relate to that sentiment.  However, I don’t think that it is effective/fruitful to combat “negative” images/stereotypes with “positive” images/stereotypes.  In the end, they are both stereotypes.  And stereotypes aren’t real. Neither approach captures the complexity of our lives – of our history.  Positive characters can be just as staid, flat, and one-dimensional as negative characters.  So, for me creating/portraying more “positive” images of black folk gets us nowhere.  What we need are films, plays, shows, music etc., that portray us a being more HUMAN.  Wonderfully human.

So again, I ain’t goin’ to see “A Family That Preys”.  Nothing against Tyler Perry.  I simply think we can do better.

Humbly Submitted;

Kdizi kdizo