kdizo vs. m. phelps controversy

Since people are still talking about M. Phelps…

I spoke on the subject to a group of students at MLK High School (Chi) today.  Here are some excerpts:

On M. Phelps’ Diet: Have you read about what, and how much, this dude eats??? Check out homeboy’s 12K calorie a day diet:

Breakfast: Three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise. Two cups of coffee. One five-egg omelet. One bowl of grits. Three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar. Three chocolate-chip pancakes.
Lunch: One pound of enriched pasta. Two large ham and cheese sandwiches with mayo on white bread. Energy drinks packing 1,000 calories.
Dinner: One pound of pasta. An entire pizza. More energy drinks.

After I read this I knew right away this mf smoked weed. And alot of it.

On Kellogs: So they drop sponsorship of Phelps because, like the late O.D.B & the Wu-Tang Clan they are, “for the kids”… Please.  Kellogs: Sugar Frosted Flakes, Coco Crispies, Fruit Loops, Rice Krispy Treats… “For the kids”??? STFU!!!

On Role Models: Athletes and entertainers ARE NOT role models. We have an unhealthy tendency to prop-up or deify people that are great at one got-damn thing (sports/entertainment). We uncritically assume that they are great at everything.  And history shows that whenever we want someone to be infallible or perfect or aspirational, it never quite works out. When you think about it, athletes and entertainers are in essence fictional characters.  If that’s how you wanna role, why not have cartoon characters as role models? They don’t f’up nearly as much as real people. Anyhoot, role models – the people we want to shape our kids – should be parents, family, friends or at least somebody that you really really know.

The War on Drugs Didn’t Work: Another reason I’m not surprised that Michael sparks(tokes)… Weed/drugs are more pervasive than ever. Especially w/ in Well-to-do White communities. I grew up in the hood and the only shit I was ever exposed to was weed, malt liquor (Shlizt, Champale, etc.) and cheap wine (TJ Swan). Think about the movie Cooley High as a point of reference in terms of inner-city drug activity.  I went to High School in the burbs – w/ wealthy White kids… Have you seen that flick Less Than Zero? Yeah. That’s exactly what it was like. Talk about drugs: weed (various kinds), hash, cocaine, acid, opium, whip-its, moonshine and all the accoutrements: scales, bongs, pipes, filters… I was shocked. I had absolutely no idea.  And the worst thing about – a lot of the drug related activity was going on w/ parental consent.

I remember being at one party in the wealthy suburb of River Hills, WI.  The Fall of ‘88.  A whole bunch high school juniors and seniors, NWA, Mc Hammer, Ton Loc, REM, The Cure… Some Less Than Zero shit… All of a sudden the party host’s father angrily bursts thru the door into the large kitchen where the majority of us were partying.

Silence and smoke.

Now, I’m the only black dude there. And I’m high(from contact). So I’m freakin’ out, about to jump over the kitchen sink and out the window because I’m thinking to myself, “shit this mf ’bout to call the cops on my black ass…”

So as I’m visually mapping my way through the crowd over the sink and out the window, the father starts yelling and screaming. Now I can’t quite make out what he is saying because a voice inside my head is like, “Now!!! Run nigga, run!!!

I shake my head to silence the voice and gather myself. Then I’m able to make out what the father is saying. Get this.  He says to his son, the party host, “I don’t ever want to have to tell you again about doing drugs IN MY HOUSE!!!”

I’m thinking to myself, “WTF??? In your house? You don’t want us to do drugs – in your house. You mean it’s okay for us to do drugs – outside – in your yard???”

I was shocked. At that point I’d had enuff. I was confused. I didn’t feel safe. I immediately went home after that – too the familiar surroundings of the hood. True story. On my G.

On a Beat Down: Michael needs to find out who took and leaked the now infamous photo and “handle that”.

input needed (black ppl only): black info for curious white people…

Obama, Holder, Steele, Tomlin, Will.I.am…Niggas is the new Black.

All caught up in the moment, many of my once moderate recently turned “toe in the water” liberal White colleagues and acquaintances have gone all Louis and Clark on me.

Part genuine curiosity and part fear of a black planet, they are readily and intensely probing all things Black.

I feel you, “here we go again”.  I dig it.  Our distant and recent social history dictates that these types of social and cultural excursions typically go askew e.g. Black face, Vanilla Ice, White folks in afro/dread-lock wigs, “whiggers”, Ghetto Life 101, CNN’s Black In America etc…

Regardless of our feelings about the matter, it’s happening.  And w/o our input.  So fuck it.  I’m feeling culturally generous.  And I see this occassion as an opportunity to begin a new and improved cultural exchange. 

That said, I’m gonna help these mofos out by acting as something akin to a visitors information center.  So, White folks, if you want your passports stamped I suggest you take heed…

Anyhoot, Brothas and Sistas I need your help.

Let’s start here:

1. What are 5 Black movies that White people MUST see (Roots, The Color Purple, Boys in the Hood – don’t count)?
2. Who are 5 Black authors/intellectuals that White people MUST read/listen to (Tavis Smily, Cornel West, Tom Joyner, Black athletes/entertainers, Al Sharpton, M. E. Dyson are not acceptable answers)?

a few last minute pointers for Barack Obama…

Here are some key last minute points that Barack should hammer home during the final hours of Election 2008.  In no particular order:

• Assure White America that Black folks are not going to enslave them.  Tell them upfront that we are not looking for revenge.
• Assure White America (and Black America) that Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Rev. Jeramiah Wright, and Louis Farrakhan will have no place in an Obama Administration.
• Remind all of his supporters that the fight doesn’t stop with the vote.
• Remind Black folks not to celebrate too hard if he becomes President.  Why?  Look, some White folks are gonna be very angry/scared/depressed in response to an Obama victory.  They might very well be lookin’ for some get-back.  Don’t provoke them with excessive celebration e.g. rockin Obama Tees and poppin’ Champagne bottles at the office – in a “Soul Train line” – while blasting “ain’t no stoppin’ us now”.  Do that shit at the crib or at Church.  And when you get back to the office on Thursday – on Thursday – act like nothing has happened.
• Urge people not to riot if he loses the election is stolen.
• More than a few Black people lost some tried and true White homies (Hillary supporters) over the jolting course of this social and cultural powder-keg of a campaign.  Barack should gently nudge Black folks to determine if any of these relationships are worthwhile and salvageable and if so to go about the work of rekindling these friendships.
• To assuage the concerns of some Black folks that continue to charge Barack with, “forgetting where he came from”, the Big “O” should acknowledge a few of the key Black people that helped him to arrive at this momentous occasion.  Especially his barber.  Barack’s fade, waves and line were consistently TIGHT throughout the entire campaign cycle.
• Let everyone know that if he wins the election, this does not mean that America has finally overcome the “race problem”. 
• In case the election is lost stolen, Barack should point out to his supporters that he/we came this far together.  And that we have come too far – accomplished too much to turn back now.  He should embolden his supporters to continue to march bravely forward and carry on with the great change-work that THEY started.

Humbly Submitted.

kd

My “Recession 08″ Survival Tips…

My name is not Hank Paulson nor am I an economist.  Nonetheless, I feel quite comfortable and confident (damn near cocky) in asserting that our economy is F’d up.  And the so called experts are still scrambling to figure things out.  I think.

Yeah, I know the DOW surged on Monday.  My reaction, “That’s cute”.  However, it doesn’t signal that we are out of the woods.  Quite the contrary.  It’s the credit crisis and the slowing global economy, not the DOW, that we should focus our fleeting attention on.  And the unsettling fact of the matter is that we have yet to suffer the real fall out of this incipient economic crisis.  In plain speak, it is going to get worse before it gets better.  Again, I’m no expert.  I’m no doom & gloomer.  But I can see the writing on the wall.  As far as I can detect, the tell-tell signs of a failing economy are ubiquitous.  Allow me to share a personal example that illustrates my point.  Over the last month, I’ve observed increasing numbers of  well-to-do White Hyde Parkers shun the over-priced Treasure Island Supermarket for the very cornerstoreesque Village Foods.  I don’t know about you, but when upper-middle class White folks start braving certi-saver products, the stench of decaying flesh (fresh meat section), lotto lines out the door, and wine-heads paying for a 5th with loose change, it’s time for a brotha to adjust accordingly.  That said, below is an abbreviated list of the belt-tightening measures that I’m taking to weather our Country’s financial downturn.

Hair Cuts:  I’m cut my own hair.  You can do the same.  Go to Wal-Mart and cop a Wahl or Oster Home Hair Care Kit.  I prefer Oster, the design of the blades seems better suited for Black hair.  The key to success w/ do-it-yourself hair cuts is to resist the urge to try anything fancy.   Trust me, I’ve seen many a hairline disappear – forever – because someone got a little too overconfident in their home hair care abilities.  Keep it simple.  This is more about function than style.  The point is to keep up a well groomed appearance.  If absolutely necessary, every now and then, you can visit your Barber/Stylist for a professional lining.  My barber (Ishat Hyde Park Hair Salon) doesn’t really charge me for this service, but I’ll usually hit him off with a budget-sensitive tip of $2-$3.

Costco:  This is pretty self-explanatory.  I buy in bulk.  And this may take away from my street cred, but I create and use a grocery list.  I strongly encourage you to do the same.  Freestyle impulse shopping ain’t the best look right now.  I’m a devotee of Costco.  From my experience Costco has the best bulk variety to choose from.  As an added come-up, If you go at the right time, you can make a substantial meal by grazing at the numerous food sampling stations set up in damn near every aisle of the store.

Food/Cooking:  Lately I’ve been stocking up on more starches than usual.  I’m trying my best to stick with the complex starches/carbs: whole grain breads and pastas; yams or yellow potatoes instead of white potatoes; brown rice instead of white.  I always have plenty of health/protein bars stashed away as well.  A note of caution, please resist the urge to stock up on processed or pre-packaged foods.  Too much sodium.  I don’t want Black folks to emerge from this special period with high(er) blood pressure and diabetes.  In terms of cooking, on Sunday afternoons or early evening while watching football,  I try to prepare a gigantic meal or two that’ll carry me through the week e.g. chili, lasagna, soups, stews, etc.  An additional benefit of soup/stew style meals is that they allow you to dump in a variety of nutrient rich ingredients from each of the key food groups, especially veggies.

Cable:  I downgraded to basic cable.  I can’t completely get rid of it yet.  I’m addicted to the Discovery Channel.  Straight up Edutainment like BDP.

At Work “The Surge”:  Businesses are going under left and right.  Downsizing is in the air.  Now is the time for your best work ever.  Pour that shit on.  Finish any outstanding projects.  Call in favors from clients/vendors.  Have them send in messages about how valuable you are to them.  Over communicate.  Master the art of memos.  And – I know this is gonna be hard for brothas – but get over your aversion to attention to detail.  Trust me. The corporate cleanersare coming and they are looking for anything – no matter how small/trivial – that can be used to justify your dismissal.  Also, try to aggressively position yourself for a key role on an uber-important company project.  Stay close to the office-stars.  Stay away from office-losers, the trouble makers.  And work on your personality.

Phones:  I don’t have a home phone.  Between the celly and gmail all my communication needs are covered.  With the cell phone, so as not exceed my service plan, I try not to talk w/ my peeps until after 9 pm or on the weekends.  9 times out of 10 we just shooting the shit anyway.  And as far as texting goes, I set up a one word texting limit.  I know that it may seem difficult to effectively communicate with just one word, but from my experience, if it’s a close friend or family member, you can damn near communicate with each other telepathically.  If one word texting or telepathy is too difficult for you, you can eliminate most communication barriers by creating a glossary of text terms and symbols to be shared with your squad via email.  Lastly, get rid of any unnecessary features.

Fitness:  My gym allowed me to downgrade my membership.  You might also be able to put your membership on hold.  The other option is to cancel.  If you do cancel: 15 push ups, 20 sit ups, 30 air squats, and 15 squat thrusts.  Do as many sets as you can in 20 minutes, 4-5 times per week.  For more home work out ideas check out www.crossfit.com.  Fellas, you probably won’t gain any muscle size with  this, but it will help to burn of all the extra carbs you’ll be consuming.  It will keep you lean.  For variety, pull out and dust off those old ass Tae-Bo DVD’s ya’ll been holding onto.  And chill with the treats!

Treat your S.O. Right:  Go overboard, not monetarily/materially, but emotionally.  Now is the time to cuddle, and cuddle some more.  This ain’t the time to be arguing over bullshit.  And players – now is definitely not the time to be trickin’ off.  We are in a recession.  Tis the season of monogamy.  Emotionally, mentally, and financially, it’s what makes the most sense at the moment.  So love the one – the “1″ - you’re with.  Ya’ll gonna need each other to get through this mess.

The “Get Up”:  This is a series of monthly house parties (remember those) that I’m organizing with my closest friends.  You gotta – “Get Up” – with yo’ peeps when times are hard.  You need them.  They need you.  You need each other.  Good people, good music, and good laughs will help to keep the blues at bay.  To pull it off, all you need is food (potluck), drink, a DJ or Itunes/IPOD, some descent speakers, and a crib – preferably one with a basement that can comfortably accommodate up to 25 people.

The bottom line is to be smart – be prepared.  And if things turn for the better sooner rather than later, you’ll have some money saved up.  If not, you’ll be well equipped to calmly navigate the treacherous  economic road ahead. 

Stay Well;

kd

Imagine: November 5, 2008. The front page of your morning paper reads???

I’ll Start.  “Barack Wins!  Bin Laden Orders Al-Qaeda To Stand Down”.  Have at it.

McCain/Palin and the n-word: you know it’s comin’…

***SEE NEW UPDATE AT END OF THIS POST***

I called this a while back in an earlier post (here).  I can see it goin’ down sumthin’ like this:

[Setting:  2nd Presidential Debate.  1/2 way into the program.]

Tom Brokaw (Moderator):  “Senator McCain.  After the first debate there was much discussion about your outright refusal to make any eye contact at all with your opponent Senator Obama.  You received a lot of criticism from Democrats and some Republicans for that.  And yet tonight, you’ve not looked at your opponent once.  Do you think that is a smart tactic on your part considering…”

[Brokaw is abruptly cut off by a grumbling red-faced McCain]

McCain:  “Uhh yeah…I umm…I think…Hey!  Fuck you Tom!  I’m not looking at that N-!!!

[Gasps and then stunned silence.  McCain smiling, winks at the camera.  Barack stares, mean-muggin' McCain.  The silence is broken only when Michelle Obama launches from her front row seat toward the smiling/winking McCain.  Hang time. Her right arm extended. Shoe in hand...]

Don’t even trip.  It might not go down exactly like this but… Shit, Jesse called him a nigga!

Get at me…

k to the d to the izo

***UPDATE # 1:  Someone said the N-word.  I told you it was coming.  Granted, it didn’t come from the mouth of McCain or Palin, but they, and the nefarious RNC, with their fear-mongering “he’s not one of us” tactics,  are definitely responsible for creating the conditions that breed this type of hatred and stupidity.  See the Washington Post article (here).  This isn’t just negative.  This shit is Birth of A Nation scary.  Wow, just a taste of what life – black life would be like under a McCain/Palin regime.***

am I the only one: boy george, and racism on the street and at work

Am I the only one:

1. Am I the only black dude that, as a shorty, had a crush on Boy George?  Don’t trip.  I was 10 years old.  I didn’t know much of anything about homosexuality (even though my go to diss at the time was “nigga, you gay!”) and even less about studs cross-dressing.  What I did know was that Boy George’s warm sultry voice riding over the reggae-drenched riddim of 1982’s “Do you Really Want To Hurt Me”  had a little black boy feelin’ all warm and fuzzy and – - yeah….
2. Am I the only 6′4, 265 lb. brotha that gets just a tad affronted, or thinks it’s racist, when a random White person makes steps towards me and asks If I play football or basketball and, as of late, if I fight in the UFC?  This shit happens all the time.  I wouldn’t mind these encounters so much if, every now and then, instead of asking me if I play sports, some random white cat would approach me to ask if I’m a Professor or an Advertising/Marketing Exec. or an Astrophysicist…  I’m sick of it.  The next time some random White homey, young or old, invades my personal space to ask me if I play sports,  I’m gonna stand up tall and straight, chest out, and calmly reply, “No, I don’t play sports.  I’m a field-nigga.  Now get the fuck outta my face.”  Is it just me?
3. As a senior level manager in corporate America, I often get the sneaking suspicion that when my white staff and colleagues ask questions in response to my directives, they do so for no other reason than they hate to take orders from a homeboy – from a brotha.  At times it seems like this is their default knee-jerk response to any directive/suggestion that I put on the table.  Seriously, I could suggest that one of my White team members simply lace up his wing-tips and he – all red faced –  will immediately respond, or push-back with, “Well, why exactly would I do that and where does that sit with our other priorities?”  Am I the only one???

up

kdizo

Racism: Black Man in Elevator (Official Video)

This video has been making the rounds as of late.  Give it a good look and share your reactions with me. How does it sit with you? Any issues come up?  Like the word – uhmmm – bitch!  I’m very very interested in getting your take on this. You don’t have to offer up a dissertation or anything.  All responses/reactions are welcome.  Pretend like we’re sittin’ around the kitchen table talkin’ shit…

 

more about “Racism: Black Man in Elevator (Offic…“, posted with vodpod

 

 

the vp debate: key(s) to a palin victory…

   

 

 

All she has to do is string together a couple of complete sentences.  A minimum of 3-4 over the course of the debate.  I’m not sure if it will help the ailing McCain/Palin ticket at this point, but at-least she could secure a moral victory for herself.   You go girl!!!

kdizo

Obama/McCain 1: My Observations

Issues:  Barack excelled on the economy, and expectations/vision for the future.  He held his own on foreign relations.  I’d have to say Barack won on the issues.

Suit:  I give the edge to Barack.  His suit was twice as shiny as McCain’s.

Sarcasm/Contemptuousness:  McCain gets the edge here – big time.

Skin Tone: Obama came out lookin all golden-bronze and shit.  McCain was his usual pasty white self.  Gotta give it to Obama.

Hair:  Again, Barack was strong in this category.  By the way his hair laid I could tell that he was rockin’ a doo-rag back stage.  Looked like he coulda used a fresh line, but other than that he looked good.  McCain’s hair was…  Barack wins.

Eye Blinks:  Both candidates blinked alot.  But there was somethin a little too twitchy and crack-headish about the way McCain blinked.  Obama blinked cooler/slower – like a pimp-wink-blink.  Slight edge to Barack here.

Pronunciation of Foreign Words/Names/Countries:  This is a key indicator of foreign policy experience, so I’m a bit surprised that McCain had such a hard time with Ahmadinejad and Perestroika.  Obama gets the nod here.

Rattled Off the Most Foreign Words/Names/Countries:  It’s a draw.  But again, considering McCain’s foreign policy experience, I was sure he’d blow away Obama here.  He didn’t.  So, a tie in this category is actually a win for Obama.  The “O” gets another one.

Voice:  McCain does something weird with his “S’s”.  The shit is annoying.  Barack wins on voice.

Lips:  McCain has no lips.  Barack’s lips look all extra-purple like he be smokin’ hella weed.  This is a toss up.

Capacity to Mis-Characterize: McSame McCain.

Capacity for Truth and Accuracy:  This one goes to Barack “The Truf(Truth)” Obama.

Eye Contact with the Opponent:  I don’t think Grandpa Simpson looked at Barack once during the entire debate.   That’s a tell-tell sign of weakness.  McCain lost his street-cred with that punk move.  Another one for Barack.

Those are my unbiased/objective professional observations.  You can decide for yourself who won Obama/McCain 1.