My “Recession 08″ Survival Tips…

My name is not Hank Paulson nor am I an economist.  Nonetheless, I feel quite comfortable and confident (damn near cocky) in asserting that our economy is F’d up.  And the so called experts are still scrambling to figure things out.  I think.

Yeah, I know the DOW surged on Monday.  My reaction, “That’s cute”.  However, it doesn’t signal that we are out of the woods.  Quite the contrary.  It’s the credit crisis and the slowing global economy, not the DOW, that we should focus our fleeting attention on.  And the unsettling fact of the matter is that we have yet to suffer the real fall out of this incipient economic crisis.  In plain speak, it is going to get worse before it gets better.  Again, I’m no expert.  I’m no doom & gloomer.  But I can see the writing on the wall.  As far as I can detect, the tell-tell signs of a failing economy are ubiquitous.  Allow me to share a personal example that illustrates my point.  Over the last month, I’ve observed increasing numbers of  well-to-do White Hyde Parkers shun the over-priced Treasure Island Supermarket for the very cornerstoreesque Village Foods.  I don’t know about you, but when upper-middle class White folks start braving certi-saver products, the stench of decaying flesh (fresh meat section), lotto lines out the door, and wine-heads paying for a 5th with loose change, it’s time for a brotha to adjust accordingly.  That said, below is an abbreviated list of the belt-tightening measures that I’m taking to weather our Country’s financial downturn.

Hair Cuts:  I’m cut my own hair.  You can do the same.  Go to Wal-Mart and cop a Wahl or Oster Home Hair Care Kit.  I prefer Oster, the design of the blades seems better suited for Black hair.  The key to success w/ do-it-yourself hair cuts is to resist the urge to try anything fancy.   Trust me, I’ve seen many a hairline disappear – forever – because someone got a little too overconfident in their home hair care abilities.  Keep it simple.  This is more about function than style.  The point is to keep up a well groomed appearance.  If absolutely necessary, every now and then, you can visit your Barber/Stylist for a professional lining.  My barber (Ishat Hyde Park Hair Salon) doesn’t really charge me for this service, but I’ll usually hit him off with a budget-sensitive tip of $2-$3.

Costco:  This is pretty self-explanatory.  I buy in bulk.  And this may take away from my street cred, but I create and use a grocery list.  I strongly encourage you to do the same.  Freestyle impulse shopping ain’t the best look right now.  I’m a devotee of Costco.  From my experience Costco has the best bulk variety to choose from.  As an added come-up, If you go at the right time, you can make a substantial meal by grazing at the numerous food sampling stations set up in damn near every aisle of the store.

Food/Cooking:  Lately I’ve been stocking up on more starches than usual.  I’m trying my best to stick with the complex starches/carbs: whole grain breads and pastas; yams or yellow potatoes instead of white potatoes; brown rice instead of white.  I always have plenty of health/protein bars stashed away as well.  A note of caution, please resist the urge to stock up on processed or pre-packaged foods.  Too much sodium.  I don’t want Black folks to emerge from this special period with high(er) blood pressure and diabetes.  In terms of cooking, on Sunday afternoons or early evening while watching football,  I try to prepare a gigantic meal or two that’ll carry me through the week e.g. chili, lasagna, soups, stews, etc.  An additional benefit of soup/stew style meals is that they allow you to dump in a variety of nutrient rich ingredients from each of the key food groups, especially veggies.

Cable:  I downgraded to basic cable.  I can’t completely get rid of it yet.  I’m addicted to the Discovery Channel.  Straight up Edutainment like BDP.

At Work “The Surge”:  Businesses are going under left and right.  Downsizing is in the air.  Now is the time for your best work ever.  Pour that shit on.  Finish any outstanding projects.  Call in favors from clients/vendors.  Have them send in messages about how valuable you are to them.  Over communicate.  Master the art of memos.  And – I know this is gonna be hard for brothas – but get over your aversion to attention to detail.  Trust me. The corporate cleanersare coming and they are looking for anything – no matter how small/trivial – that can be used to justify your dismissal.  Also, try to aggressively position yourself for a key role on an uber-important company project.  Stay close to the office-stars.  Stay away from office-losers, the trouble makers.  And work on your personality.

Phones:  I don’t have a home phone.  Between the celly and gmail all my communication needs are covered.  With the cell phone, so as not exceed my service plan, I try not to talk w/ my peeps until after 9 pm or on the weekends.  9 times out of 10 we just shooting the shit anyway.  And as far as texting goes, I set up a one word texting limit.  I know that it may seem difficult to effectively communicate with just one word, but from my experience, if it’s a close friend or family member, you can damn near communicate with each other telepathically.  If one word texting or telepathy is too difficult for you, you can eliminate most communication barriers by creating a glossary of text terms and symbols to be shared with your squad via email.  Lastly, get rid of any unnecessary features.

Fitness:  My gym allowed me to downgrade my membership.  You might also be able to put your membership on hold.  The other option is to cancel.  If you do cancel: 15 push ups, 20 sit ups, 30 air squats, and 15 squat thrusts.  Do as many sets as you can in 20 minutes, 4-5 times per week.  For more home work out ideas check out www.crossfit.com.  Fellas, you probably won’t gain any muscle size with  this, but it will help to burn of all the extra carbs you’ll be consuming.  It will keep you lean.  For variety, pull out and dust off those old ass Tae-Bo DVD’s ya’ll been holding onto.  And chill with the treats!

Treat your S.O. Right:  Go overboard, not monetarily/materially, but emotionally.  Now is the time to cuddle, and cuddle some more.  This ain’t the time to be arguing over bullshit.  And players – now is definitely not the time to be trickin’ off.  We are in a recession.  Tis the season of monogamy.  Emotionally, mentally, and financially, it’s what makes the most sense at the moment.  So love the one – the “1″ - you’re with.  Ya’ll gonna need each other to get through this mess.

The “Get Up”:  This is a series of monthly house parties (remember those) that I’m organizing with my closest friends.  You gotta – “Get Up” – with yo’ peeps when times are hard.  You need them.  They need you.  You need each other.  Good people, good music, and good laughs will help to keep the blues at bay.  To pull it off, all you need is food (potluck), drink, a DJ or Itunes/IPOD, some descent speakers, and a crib – preferably one with a basement that can comfortably accommodate up to 25 people.

The bottom line is to be smart – be prepared.  And if things turn for the better sooner rather than later, you’ll have some money saved up.  If not, you’ll be well equipped to calmly navigate the treacherous  economic road ahead. 

Stay Well;

kd

“…one of them coon dogs…” An Act of Racism? Real or Imagined?

Sunday afternoon at the pet store w/ my 2 boys.  We’re checking out the kittens and pups.  A handsome and frisky doberman pup catches our eye.  We post up for a few minutes in front of the pooch’s cage.  A couple of minutes fly by.  Another family approaches.  Moms, pops, junior, and grandpa.  They have a real rust-belt ethos about ‘em.  They peer over our shoulders at the same pooch we’re looking at.  Junior expresses an keen interest in the pup.  They continue to move in – encroach.  Pretty damn close to invading our personal space.  I have to defend the perimeter.  I turn and give them a quick and subtle don’t-get-no-closer glance complete with a half-smile.  Message received.  They stop and continue to observe from an acceptable distance.  Another minute or two goes by.  We’re still excitedly engaged with the pup.  Tired of waiting, pops verbally signals for his rustic squad to go browse the other animals in the store.  As they turn to walk away I hear grandpa say, in a voice much louder than what was appropriate for the setting, “I’d rather get me one of them COON dogs anyway”.  I’m immediately thinking to myself, “WTF!  COON dog?  Who says COON DOG!?”  I turn and instantly lock eyes with grandpa.  This mofo flashes me a quick smile and offers up a sinister, “Have a nice day.”

OK.  To me, this a is a clear-cut case of racism/bigotry.  However, I could be making this shit up in my head.  Maybe grand pa simply decided to make known - at that precise moment in time – his longing and preference for a got-damn coon dog.  I seriously doubt it.  What do you think?  Is this an act of racism or am I imagining things?

kdizo

I’m not writing anything else about Election 2008 Until…

I’m self-imposing a moratorium on commenting about Campaign 2008.  I’m tired of all the politalking, the stump speeches, the faux-debates, the mudslinging, the absolutely useless media coverage.  And can we please do away with the damn polls!  It’s the same stories and soundbites and finger-pointing – by the same people - over and over and over again.   So, as far as I’m concerned, there really isn’t anything riveting or substantive to talk about.  That is, unless someone in the mainstream media or the blogosphere has the balls/ovaries to spark up a national conversation about the 800 lb. guerrilla in the room.  You know exactly what I’m talking about.  I’m sure you’ve been thinking about it, and maybe even discussing it under your breath.  What’s the 800 lb. guerrilla that I speak of?  It’s the persistently ignored fact that the race for the White House is as close as it is because one of the candidates is Black.  And relatedly,  the only reason that the vast majority of  “undecideds” (mostly White) remain undecided, is because on the one hand – in their rational minds – they know that the McCain/Palin ticket is a fucking joke.  On the other hand,  they just can’t quite bring themselves to vote for – gulp - a negro.  Just to be clear, I’m saying that if Barack were White, this thing would’ve been over a long long time ago.  Why isn’t anyone touching this?  Why isn’t this headline news?  Is it because the shot-callers in mainstream media don’t know?  Or could it be that they don’t care?  Whatever the reason, I refuse to contribute anything else to this white-washed amateurish real-time work of political pop-fiction that’s been over-sold to us as insightful, objective, and professional campaign coverage.

Frank Talk (like Steve Biko);

kd

McCain/Palin and the n-word: you know it’s comin’…

***SEE NEW UPDATE AT END OF THIS POST***

I called this a while back in an earlier post (here).  I can see it goin’ down sumthin’ like this:

[Setting:  2nd Presidential Debate.  1/2 way into the program.]

Tom Brokaw (Moderator):  “Senator McCain.  After the first debate there was much discussion about your outright refusal to make any eye contact at all with your opponent Senator Obama.  You received a lot of criticism from Democrats and some Republicans for that.  And yet tonight, you’ve not looked at your opponent once.  Do you think that is a smart tactic on your part considering…”

[Brokaw is abruptly cut off by a grumbling red-faced McCain]

McCain:  “Uhh yeah…I umm…I think…Hey!  Fuck you Tom!  I’m not looking at that N-!!!

[Gasps and then stunned silence.  McCain smiling, winks at the camera.  Barack stares, mean-muggin' McCain.  The silence is broken only when Michelle Obama launches from her front row seat toward the smiling/winking McCain.  Hang time. Her right arm extended. Shoe in hand...]

Don’t even trip.  It might not go down exactly like this but… Shit, Jesse called him a nigga!

Get at me…

k to the d to the izo

***UPDATE # 1:  Someone said the N-word.  I told you it was coming.  Granted, it didn’t come from the mouth of McCain or Palin, but they, and the nefarious RNC, with their fear-mongering “he’s not one of us” tactics,  are definitely responsible for creating the conditions that breed this type of hatred and stupidity.  See the Washington Post article (here).  This isn’t just negative.  This shit is Birth of A Nation scary.  Wow, just a taste of what life – black life would be like under a McCain/Palin regime.***

am I the only one: boy george, and racism on the street and at work

Am I the only one:

1. Am I the only black dude that, as a shorty, had a crush on Boy George?  Don’t trip.  I was 10 years old.  I didn’t know much of anything about homosexuality (even though my go to diss at the time was “nigga, you gay!”) and even less about studs cross-dressing.  What I did know was that Boy George’s warm sultry voice riding over the reggae-drenched riddim of 1982′s “Do you Really Want To Hurt Me”  had a little black boy feelin’ all warm and fuzzy and – - yeah….
2. Am I the only 6’4, 265 lb. brotha that gets just a tad affronted, or thinks it’s racist, when a random White person makes steps towards me and asks If I play football or basketball and, as of late, if I fight in the UFC?  This shit happens all the time.  I wouldn’t mind these encounters so much if, every now and then, instead of asking me if I play sports, some random white cat would approach me to ask if I’m a Professor or an Advertising/Marketing Exec. or an Astrophysicist…  I’m sick of it.  The next time some random White homey, young or old, invades my personal space to ask me if I play sports,  I’m gonna stand up tall and straight, chest out, and calmly reply, “No, I don’t play sports.  I’m a field-nigga.  Now get the fuck outta my face.”  Is it just me?
3. As a senior level manager in corporate America, I often get the sneaking suspicion that when my white staff and colleagues ask questions in response to my directives, they do so for no other reason than they hate to take orders from a homeboy – from a brotha.  At times it seems like this is their default knee-jerk response to any directive/suggestion that I put on the table.  Seriously, I could suggest that one of my White team members simply lace up his wing-tips and he – all red faced –  will immediately respond, or push-back with, “Well, why exactly would I do that and where does that sit with our other priorities?”  Am I the only one???

up

kdizo